The Taste of Poverty

I feel like this blog is going really really dark right now, and not just when it is literally going dark because reasons thanks to other people who’s life choices should have included “human speed hump”.

The job thing is really fucking up the small string of my self-esteem that I escaped with from that place, its not even the rejection that is getting to me. It is the absolute lack of rejection, just silence and vanishing in to the ether is how these people play it. Just give me a reason, give me your feedback, and put me out of my misery. Don’t waste my time with emailing you every week to chase up a decision you made a month ago but just can’t be fucked to tell me.

For the food situation, I had a mental breakdown, I went to a food bank and even with 0€ in my account for the whole month, I still theoretically made “too much”. Too rich to be poor, too poor to be able to eat, let alone make ends meet.

Since I’m fucked I figured I’d get creative, I’ve managed to pull out every coupon and cash back voucher to accomplish a box full of ramen. At a push there is two a day, sure it has zero nutritional value and getting scurvy is quite frankly still on the table, but at least it is something.

I’ve also played my cards right with Phenix and made friends with one of the commerçants, admittedly the manager at the place, he’s super fucking hot, so I’m not adverse to this new rung of business.

Granted this is just a plaster on the shitshow that is my life right now, but at least it is mildly less depressing than it was days ago. Progress I guess, but I’d be happy to get a job and out of this death spiral.

As is the theme with all my recent posts, I’m begging for few Euro / Quid / Bucks if you can :

• Credit / Debit Card €
• IBAN € : NL18 BUNQ 2206 2327 31
• GBP £ : Sort Code 04-14-04 Account 43695586
• USD $ : Agency Code 026073150 Routing Number 8335388831
• CAD $ : Interac kc at ec.je